My Garmin said I had 1:59:43 so it counts...

My last half marathon I had to pretty much abandon any thought of getting a PR.  The ice and cold temperatures pretty much put an end to that.  But that didn't mean I couldn't try to do better on my next attempt. 

In between these two half marathons I had a chance to run a local sports team themed 5k that finished in the hockey arena.  I hadn't really known what I would feel like doing at this one.  But the course was short last year, so I planned on seeing if I could get close to what I got last year.  I didn't count my time as a PR when it was only 2.88 but it was one of my best runs from last year.  So this year I heard post race that they had corrected the course to make it a true 5k.  Not knowing that before the race, I looked at my time, was pleased but just thought "oh it's a short course so it's not technically a PR".  But after I heard they corrected the race distance, I decided to count it as a new 5k PR.  I started thinking that I really hadn't felt that horrible during this shorter race and that maybe I could try once again to do better at my half coming up.

I've been not doing a whole lot of speedwork lately as I've been training for the marathon.  This means I've been running about an 11mm pace.  Which feels good to me.  It just amounts to "time on my feet" which is really an important thing for marathon training.  So I kind of just skipped over speedwork even thought technically it is on my plan. (Luckily I don't have a coach so I won't get shamed from anyone for this).  I just don't want to do it when it's snowing or on the treadmill.  It feels unsafe.  Yeah, that's my excuse. So, I have been doing the heart rate training approach on and off for a while.  I look at how long I was actually able to stay in HR zone 2 and see what my pace was for being in that zone.  It's never that impressive but as I saw it improving, I felt like something was happening.  Other had told me about this approach "slow down during your long runs if you want to improve" which seems counterproductive but actually works.  I know I talked about this before.  So anyway, the point is, I didn't really do any speedwork.  I didn't know how ready I would even be to try to run this thing fast.  All I knew was I held a good pace for the last 5k and that was good enough for me.  This was a super relaxed race.  There was very little buzz about it.  I told no one what I was doing.  I even reserved the right to change my mind at the last minute.

The day of the half marathon it was chilly (35-40) but not really cold.  It was one of those days I had a hard time picking out what to wear.  I didn't want to get too hot but I also didn't want to freeze at the start.  After that was done, I thought about the fact that this course was a 1 mile loop. That means don't bring water, don't bring a belt unless I have to store something.  And maybe I should avoid having to store anything because it's just extra weight.  Found a place in a windbreaker vest that I could put a few gu packets and my key.

Got to the race early, took the usual picture with my running group, headed to the start.  Chatted with another runner who was hoping for a good outcome.  She provided some encouragement.  I just didn't say too much about a goal.  I didn't really know what I wanted to do.  I always knew it was possible to work on running 9 minute miles for this but wasn't sure if this was the time to try.  Mainly just didn't want to get inside my head with all that anxiety and stuff.

Got started out and felt pleasantly fine running a faster pace.  Somehow I was able to keep this pace for over half the run.  Around mile 7-8 it started to get really hard.  It was more just thinking about the fact that I was running faster than usual.  I knew I probably should look at my watch just to make sure I was still good on pace, but every time I did I had that feeling that I wouldn't be able to keep this pace up.  Around that time I was thinking "I actually feel ok, this is ok." but then I started to think "Listen, you're only about half way.  Anything can happen.  Don't do what you did last time and just lose it at the end." 

There were some other things said to myself at the time but mostly just cursing the fact that this was hard and various negativity.  I already knew that would happen so I tried to go to my happy place. I tried to look at what other people were wearing, others' ideas for running accessories, who was cheering us on, different stuff I saw.. thoughts about world peace, etc.  I say this in jest, but I've had some random things pop into my head while running and then I get fixated on it for a while. Maybe just how a word is pronounced, the origins of the word, etc.  Or other randomness.  I saw a few people I knew, said hi and hoped they didn't think I was rude because I'm sure my face was dead serious. The last time I really put a good effort into this I had my previous PR about a year ago.  I had about 2:06 and what happened was I started really fast and then ended with a disappointing finish.  A friend of mine tried to help me, but I was tapped out by that point.

I know you're not really "supposed" to bank time.  I've heard this so many times.  But yet I still did this strategy for this race.  If there was one thing I would work on for the future, it is this.  Maybe I'd work on keeping a steady 9mm instead of doing this: 8:48, 8:43, 8:49, 8:53, 9:00, 9:10, 8:58, 9:25, 9:19, 9:35, 9:34, 9:31, 9:03, 9:07 (last fraction of a mile). If you add that all up it was 13.44 miles and 2:02:45.  However, my Garmin told me that when I reached the half marathon point, I was at 1:59:43  So I'm counting it as a sub 2 hour.  But I definitely think I can try again and hopefully do better. Maybe get more of a "legit" sub 2.  That's why I titled it this way.  In Garmin we trust.

Looking at my splits, it's pretty clear that the banking time strategy could be risky. A friend of mine once said "Just get the pace and hope you can hang on" meaning in a way it didn't matter how I did it as long as I finished well overall.  Another friend told me to start at 9:30 and try to gradually get faster.  The only problem I can see with this is the following: this is not how my body seems to want to work.  As soon as I settle into 9:30 that is kind of what I have made up my mind to do.  It's almost like I can't get faster once I set that pace.  Negative splitting has not been easy for me lately.  I used to do really well with it, back in my early running.  I'm not sure what happened.  You'd think if you were running for about 6 years you would get better with your racing strategy but that is clearly not the case!

Looking at my splits above, I appear to have kind of hit a mini wall at miles 8-11.  Maybe that was the "you probably can't do this so maybe just slow down" thoughts in my head at the time. Always angel vs devil language.  Then I had these thoughts about "but what if you could!" and "just try because whatever you get, it has to be a PR".  Luckily, there were a lot of fast people running this race, so I just tried to keep up with them when I found a person who was a pretty good (unintentional) pacer for me. Especially at the end, there is this one runner, if I ever saw her again I'd thank her for setting a good pace.  

So what's next is just to continue training for this spring marathon which will be marathon #3 for me.  I still want to do it and I am going to aim a little higher than I thought I could accomplish.  Just a few more super long runs and I should be where I need to be training wise.  I'm a little bummed that all it wants to do is rain this week after we got a break from super cold and/or snow/ice but I guess you can't predict the weather.  I have enjoyed not sweating to death or wanting to go lay down in someone's yard with the sprinklers on since I've been training in the winter.  Last time I had an 19 mile run I remember having that thought.  It was 80 degrees and so many tempting yards to rest in. But jumping over crusty snow for 17 miles isn't exactly fun either.  After hearing about the predicted downpour this weekend I'm not sure how I feel.  But somehow it will work out.  It's all about just time on my feet.

January running fun

I  never look forward to cold weather.  You could say I hate winter.  I curse snow.  I hate driving in it.  I hate walking in it . I hate running in it.

But going into 2018, I had two races scheduled for January.  And they were both very cold.

The first one was on New Year's Day.  It was 8 degrees.  I remember thinking it couldn't possibly be any colder for a race.  I was wrong.  My second race was -2.  That's right.  Negative Two!

Several years ago I had run a 7.5 mile race in 4 degree weather and thought about how cold that was.  I didn't think I would have the opportunity (or rather bad fortune) to have another race that cold.

But one should never underestimate Ohio in the winter.

My first race was a 5k.  Well, it actually was 3 miles.  They said it was a 5k, but it wasn't.  But that's ok because I was ready to be inside.  And it was New Year's Day.  This kind of sets my tone for the whole year.  So I never miss running on New Year's Day.  No matter what I did the night before.

My second race of January was a half marathon.  In the days leading up to the race, it kept being extremely cold and snowing nearly every day (as well as ice).  I was wishing... "ok, let's get this out of our system... please, Ohio weather?" and thought maybe when it's time for the race, it will be better.

But the day came and sure enough it was -2.  The night before, I was thinking it would be maybe 0 or even as high as 5-10 degrees.  But, like I said before, Ohio winters are unpredictable.  I prepared an outfit that covered everything so that not an inch of skin would be exposed except for my eyes.  I'm not a fan of sunglasses while running, though.  I never have been for some reason.  I put out my hat, fleece hood with built in balaclava, neck warmer, hand warmers, double layer of gloves, 2 shirts, 2 pants, 2 layers of socks, and a down jacket.  Also I wore my trail shoes with velcro ankle covers that are often worn on the trails to prevent debris from going in one's shoes.  I was worried about the previous week's 5 inches of snow possibly trying to get in and flood my shoes, making them more wet and uncomfortable.  I had heard that some of the path had not been plowed and was preparing for that.  Luckily, the race director provided us with updates on the condition of the trail, so I knew what to expect.  I brought my own water and my belt, and put a dash of alcohol in to keep it from freezing.  Usually I have had luck with that when the temps are below about 20 degrees F.  I wasn't convinced the race water wouldn't freeze.

I had missed my previous week's long run, which was supposed to be 11 miles.  I had the flu and had to pass on that run.  So I was behind already with my training plan for the next marathon I'm doing in April.  So this was going to happen.  Even if I was fighting myself internally.  I had skipped a few races ever.  This was not going to be one of them.

When I got there, we did packet pickup that day because it was the only time to do packet pickup.  Mainly the reason was that the weather was so bad the previous day that it was cancelled due to dangerous amounts of snow and ice.  So I get there, go stand in line to get my number.  I go back to the car after pickup.  I'm thinking about how bad this must be for the race volunteers, and they deserve credit for coming here on a day like this when they are not even running.  At least when you run, you generate heat.  So, they were awesome to have showed up.

Sat in the car for a little while, emerged to do a last check of what facilities I needed before the start.  Got to the start and already felt like my toes were going to fall off with frostbite.  The run got underway.  The trail had a mixture of ice and snow.  I expected this, but didn't wear yaktracks only because there was a good bit of exposed pavement and sometimes when you wear those, your stride is different. You can injure yourself if you're using them on pavement.  So I had my trail shoes, which worked out mostly pretty well.

The first mile or two I was thinking that I would really lose my toes. The main thought in my mind was how I would explain to people that I lost my toes to frostbite because I thought it was a good idea to run in sub zero temperatures.  "Well, my dear grandchild,  you see, one day I decided to run in the extreme cold and that's why this happened." The dominant thought stayed in this mindset... mixed with some other colorful language (basically variants of how much I hate Ohio and can't wait to move to California).  I kept thinking about turning around, and then it occurred to me that 13.1 miles on the treadmill would totally suck, and I had to just power through.  I visualized the monotony of staring at my basement wall for over 2 hours.

I came to the 3.5 mile turnaround (some people were running 3.5, some 8 miles, and some crazy ones like me running 13.1).  I considered turning around.  But then I thought "just make it to the 8 mile turn around and see how  you feel"... Variants of the thought "Well, if you do 8 now, that's only 5ish to do on the treadmill" So I  kept going.  Some feeling was starting to return to my toes and I decided I wasn't going to lose them to frostbite after all.

The trail was really beautiful.  It was a sunny day with a lot of snow on the trees and surrounding grass and fields.  The water was frozen solid in most places.  If I wasn't so cold, I would have taken more time to enjoy the scenery.  But as it was, every time I slowed down, the cold started to overtake me so I realized I had to at least keep a decent pace.  But I couldn't run my fastest.  Every so often  patch of ice would pop up, or there was ice hiding under the snow that I previously thought was safe and I'd skid for a second.  Luckily, I did not fall (although I came close a few times).  I kept the pace a steady 11 minute mile for most of it (walking some nearly impassable icy sections).  This seemed to keep me warm enough but also keep me from falling.

Approached the 8 mile turn around and surprisingly I didn't want to turn around.  I had gotten past that point where I felt I wouldn't make it.  I had made it this far, I might as well continue to the half marathon turn around. And I knew I could get a taco and body armour drink at the finish. I wouldn't want to go home and run an additional 5 miles after eating a taco and drinking a large drink.  At that point, I'd be in relaxation mode.  My clothes would be wet and cold and I'd be out of the mood.  So, might as well go all the way now.  I knew that after I crossed the big bridge over the highway, that I was almost at the turn around, and sure enough, it came quicker than I thought.

Once I got to that point, I just settled in and carefully navigated the rest of the icy route.  I had been listening to a book on tape the whole time, and that seemed to help me for this long run.  I've listened to all sorts of intriguing books while running.

Finishing the run felt amazing.  I could see the end point coming about a half mile away.  There's nothing like completing something like this... a half marathon in the dead of winter on an ice and snow covered trail when it's -2 degrees F at race start.  It makes you feel like you could pretty much run in any conditions.  And I'm starting to realize I can.  Except for a lightning storm or tornado.  Better not try that.  But rain, ok... snow... sure... -2 degrees... yeah, I can do it.

A few weeks previous I had the same fears when a friend had asked who wanted to undertake a 10 mile run together.  This turned out to be a day of constant downpour.  Not only was it a downpour, it was a 37 degree day with a downpour.  I almost didn't do it.  But something told me I just had to try it.  It was even dark when we started.  I arrived at her house thinking how this was a terrible idea.  But I did it anyway.  I had arrived, might as well do it. It went by faster than I expected.  And I'm thinking of doing it again next week. Time to get past my limitations and realize they are just artificial barriers.

Setting a new goal after putting one on the shelf for now

So, I've been thinking about why I abandoned writing for so long.

I think the biggest reason was it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to focus on next.

Last year, post marathon, I felt that I had to try going back to my speed goals.  It became increasingly more frustrating not being able to reach the goal of a sub 2 hour half.  I set out on some 13.1 mile long runs on paths familiar to me, without big crowds, timing myself and trying to beat it.  I got as close as a 2:04 doing this (although I did stop my watch once on that run).  I kept trying it again and again but just couldn't do it.  

My last attempt before I put the goal "on the shelf" as I say (because I'm not giving up yet, just postponing my timeline) was at the Emerald City Half Marathon in August.  This ended up being about the perfect weather for August.  Cool in the morning which is unexpected in summer.  Relatively flat course.  If I couldn't do it here, this was my sign.  I came in over 2 hours, and realized it was going to continue to frustrate me to do this to myself.  I wasn't enjoying running as much as I used to enjoy it.  And that is something I can't allow myself to experience. 

Now, I did have some other fun moments during the summer.  I did a trail race at a local metropark with running friends.  It was a 10k (actually a little short of 10k) but it let me see that I missed running on trails/in natural settings. I checked out a few new metroparks, actually.  Some of them were more technical and rugged terrain.  I enjoyed this more than I thought.  As a result, I've decided to expand my territory in 2018 to include places I've never run before and are more scenic/difficult technically.   I ran on vacation, in Tampa and Orlando Florida.  Around the Universal Studios area and in 80 degrees at 5am with high humidity. I love running on vacation.  It's always an adventure.

There also was a low point this summer where a man had been harassing and threatening some of us on a nearby trail.  They finally did find him, but as usual, things move slowly in proving anything and often the path is difficult for justice.  But I started carrying pepper spray, being more aware, and having help on my phone speed dial. It just sucks that people like this exist when you're trying to enjoy a run.

So with all of this in mind, what did I want for myself? This was a tough question to answer.  My long run mileage had climbed after the Emerald City Half and I was getting 16, 17 miles on my long runs. I thought I might as well sign up for a 20 miler at the end of September.  I went ahead and did that.  What I ended up doing though, was running 10 prior to the planned race, and switching to the 10 mile distance at the race.  I didn't want to do this, but the day ended up being 85-90 degrees and it made sense to do it this way.  I still got my 20 mile run in.  A few of my friends agreed to meet at 6am, get 10 miles, then loop back to race start, run the 10 mile race.  I also started a new plan in terms of pacing.

I had been following a trail running group who told me about running 6:2 intervals.  That is 6 minutes of running, 2 minutes of walking.  They explained that they did this for longer distances, and it really saved their legs and actually made them get a faster time.  Could I try this?  Hmm, maybe this was worth trying.  Last year at the marathon, I felt bad about walking.  But maybe walking could help me?  I researched a little into the Jeff Galloway strategy, and decided to try it out.  I found I could do a run here almost the same speed as if I just ran it at a straight 10:30/11 mm pace.  This would be a good speed if I ran a marathon.  If I ran a second marathon... If I chose to run another marathon... this was the question.  I had been contemplating this both in my head and out loud to a few friends over the past few months.  I had signed up for the Nationwide Children's Marathon again, but had signed up for the half this time.  But maybe I could just go ahead and upgrade to the full.  What would that be like?  Was this a good plan...

The only downside is I hadn't really been following a marathon training plan.  It was more of an "advanced half marathon" plan.  My mileage had been higher for long runs.  I had made it all the way to 15, 17 and I was planning on running 20 anyway for the race at the end of September.  Why not go ahead and just do 26.2 again?  My fear was less this time.  I had done it before.  I knew what the course was like.  I knew all the places I struggled last year.  And I could do something differently.  I could run the back half of the course 2 weeks ahead and the places I struggled might not be that bad. So I decided to take the leap.  I was far less nervous about it.  My only fear was that my training was a little subpar.  My midweek runs had not reached the mileage they probably needed to.  Maximum distance of runs during the week were only 4-5 miles.  My long runs had reached 20 but I had not had very long midweek runs.  Ok, well let's just see how this goes.  

The race turned out to be not ideal weather.  But, it was too late to turn back or drop back to the half so I settled in my plan.  I know the course will be crowded at the beginning, so I'll just determine if it's possible to take any walk breaks.  If it's not, I'll just do them when the course thins out.  It did end up taking a few miles, but I was able to get walk breaks in there.  I had been practicing running intervals for a few weeks and had gotten used to this method.  It seemed to work well for me because I could run a 9:45/10 mm pace for my running portions and then about 15:30 mm for walking.  I made my own "calculator" to see what my average pace would be, and it ended up being faster than last year's pace for the marathon.  

When I say not ideal weather, it was 65-70 degrees when we started and high humidity.  It was actually windy at the start as well, and then the wind gusted to 35 mph by the end of the race.  But, no storms were predicted.  This is what we all feared the most, that there would be thunderstorms.  It was definitely a struggle with the humidity, but it went well for me.  I didn't start to feel concerned until around the race split at 12-13 miles.  Shortly after that (maybe 14 or 15 miles in) I started to feel what was the precursor to a leg cramp.  I walked a little.  I wasn't exactly following my run/walk plan, but I also wanted to finish, so I stopped before the cramp worsened.  I was taking my fluids, gels, and half way ate an energy waffle.  This was best for me as I knew I got very thirsty, dehydrated, and couldn't go on without doing these things.  There were definitely times I didn't want to stop for water.  But I knew with the weather, that I probably should.  I listened to a book on tape, which got me through for a while. Around mile 20, I switched to no headphones.  Decided to just listen to the sounds of the race.

The last 6 miles, I knew I had to just power through.  Walked a little when I needed to, but did my best.  In my head, I wondered if I would beat my time from last year.  I felt like I probably wouldn't.  The wind was making it very hard to follow my strategy.  Surprisingly, when I got around mile 25/26, I looked down at the total time on my watch.  It might be actually possible to PR.   I saw some of my friends cheering near the end, and that helped a lot. I made an effort to run the last mile/mile and a half. I might even come in under 5 hours.  In the end, my official time was a 7-8 minute PR.  I wasn't expecting this as the weather worsened, and knowing I had subpar training. My Garmin thinks I was just barely under 5 hours (literally 4:59:51).  Of course, I ended up running 26.66 as it's impossible to run a perfect marathon distance.  So my recorded time was over 5 hours. I had cut over a few times to get a drink or use the facilities, so I knew it would be a longer distance.  I was pretty pleased with this unexpected outcome.  I might write more about the marathon as I think about it, then again I might not.  I already knew the course, so it didn't have that sense of newness that I usually get from a race.  But I liked that it didn't feel new to me.  I just wanted to give it another shot and feel better at the end.

So, after all of this, I ended up running my second marathon.  I had not expected to run one again for a few years, but everything worked out to allow this to happen.  I'm going to enjoy the rest of the year and think about what I want for myself.  The first thing is enjoying running and being in natural settings. The focus on speed training got in my head and I just wanted to enjoy running again.  I don't like feeling that I'm always short of my goal.  When that happens, I just set a different goal for myself.  And then I can enjoy myself.

Summer weather and adapting my schedule

It's been a few weeks since the weather started to heat up.  It had been ok until this past week with highs in the 90s in Ohio.  This has actually been good timing with the sunrise being at 6am and being able to get done early before work.  The other challenge has been thunderstorms.  Trying to dodge them and sneak a run in there during times when there isn't one on the way . Another downside of hot and humid weather in Ohio is that it tends to create more storms.

Something else I started doing was listening to books online through the Audible app.  I started with My Year of Running Dangerously by Tom Foreman and then when I finished that one began reading Born to Run by Christopher McDougall.  Both had some good ideas and entertainment that I took with me. I'm still working on the latter book and I'm at the point where they are running their race with the Tarahumara people.  I should be near the end I'm thinking...

One interesting theory from the Born to Run book had to do with running barefoot being better for you and more of a natural way of running.  Not sure if I'll be trading my well cushioned shoes in for vibram five fingers, but it was a consideration.  I'd have to reduce the drop on my shoes and gradually become more minimalist.  However, I feel pretty good lately and have running very consistent 20-25 mile weeks since January so I am not sure I need to make that change yet.

One thing I'm proud of for this year is my consistency.  For the first 5 months so far (and into the 6th month now) I've averaged 90-100 miles each month.  Last year I wasn't consistent per se.  The big goal was training for the marathon and so I had a few months over 100 miles.  One was 144 miles (August 2016).  Of course that will happen during marathon training so its to be expected that mileage will be high.  This year I really hadn't gone beyond a half marathon so it's been easier to be consistent.  I'm considering doing a 20 mile race in September because I didn't want to train for a marathon again but figured 20 miles would be doable.  I remember last year feeling at my best around 18-20 miles and beyond that was somehow really hard.  Maybe my point of "hitting the wall" is around 20...  still trying to figure out if I did this what kind of training plan and taper would be reasonable.

My speed training has been a lot harder in the warm weather.  I haven't gotten below a 9:00 pace in a few weeks.  I was reading a story about how it's harder to run in the heat so maybe I need to cut myself some slack.  I hope that if it cools down, I'll get to try some speedy miles sometime this summer.  There's not much on the horizon for the next few weeks.  I am going to do a trail 10k in July but I hear it is not really that "traily" and more like a metropark (just a more difficult metropark).  Of course will do a review later.  The last trail run I did was a half marathon and it was just so rooty and rough that I swore off of trails for a little while.  With recent development of the hammertoe I've actually been avoiding trail running.  Seems that changes in terrain will aggravate it more but regular road racing doesn't do much.

Another thing I've been trying to do is run fast half marathons on the trails (not a race setting) to get closer to 2 hours.  I had a 2:04 and a 2:09 recently.  You wouldn't think cutting off 15-30 seconds a mile would be so tough but somehow it is.  The 2:09 day was really hot and humid, so I'm going to blame it on that.

The week of perpetual rain and storms

My second half marathon of April came and went.  This is what the day ended up looking like:

Yes, it was a pretty serious thunderstorm.  There was rain in the forecast (downpours, actually) starting on packet pickup day (Thursday and running through the next Saturday - 10 days of strong rain).  I wondered on packet pickup day if maybe it was a good sign it was raining then, because it certainly couldn't still be this bad by Saturday, right?  Wrong.

I set out to run this race because a few friends were coming up and thought it would be fun to meet up with them (it was, despite everything else).  I hadn't done this one before.  Mostly because it seems like a ton of people and I tend to shy away from that when I can.  The two biggest races I've run are these two (Capital City Half Marathon and the Columbus Marathon).  This one had 14,500 entries according to the race director.  I think Columbus Marathon has a similarly large number.

As expected, there are corrals.  I had originally had this sub 2 hour plan in my head but decided to forego that because it was just not my time.  I had corral C but settled back into E to run with my friend who had put a more realistic finishing time as his goal.  After waiting for all the faster corrals to go, it was finally our turn.  We were about 18 minutes behind the clock.  Things went well for a while.  I was feeling good, pace was speeding up and I was cautious to not go below 9:20.  The air became more humid and by mile 3 a steady rain started to come down.  I could tolerate it for a while.  I told my friend if it became a full on downpour, I would probably duck into an overhang and wait a few minutes to see if it passed. I didn't do that at this point as it wasn't bad enough to warrant that.  The first rainy portion ended up stopping after a mile or two maybe.  At that point I was soaked but shoes were remaining relatively dry, as I was able to duct tape them thanks to a friend having some duct tape I could use.

After a while, I could feel my sinuses getting clogged up again and that familiar not being able to breathe well due to humidity.  Unlike other runners who seem to love running in rain, I just get more congested and have to take a million slow down/blow my nose breaks.  I started to need water, but luckily there were plenty of stations.  Pace started to slow down.  I told my friend to go ahead after mile 8 ish.  I didn't want to continue to hold him back.  Seemed like he was getting a second wind when I was starting to struggle.  It was ok.  I knew I would finish, just not with my best time.  I think when you have a few races you struggle with, it helps you understand that there is no predicting these things.  You just show up, give it an effort and however it turns out.  I was on the struggle bus for a few miles, and then started to feel better.  Sinuses started to clear some and I felt maybe I could manage until the end.

As soon as that thought crossed my mind I saw a flash of lightning.  No, we're not going to finish this.  I had mixed feelings.  Somewhat glad, due to the struggles I had earlier.  Really did want to complete what I set out to do, in another way.  But I wasn't sure what it meant that there was lightning.  Probably not good things to come ahead.  I saw a police officer and asked "are we going to finish?"  He said, "course is being diverted" and gave me the next direction/turn.  So we cut off about 9 miles in.  Turned up the final street and I finished at 9.34 miles, almost a 15k.

After that things changed quickly.  I was able to get my medal and some food (yogurt, snack bar, water) but turned out that since a lightning storm and torrential rains were on the way we couldn't get our gear checked bags which were in the tents with metal poles and the finishers party (free pizza, beer, sparkling wine, margarita) was also cancelled.  A lot of disappointment about that, but what can you do...

I did eventually get my gear checked bag once the storm had settled down.  The main priority was getting everyone to a safe area while the storm passed.  Ended up getting some food/drink with my friends later at their hotel, and laughing (kind of) about the experience.

The next day I decided to go back out there and complete the last miles I missed.  I ended up running a total of 14.22 miles because I had to park somewhere kind of weird to complete the rest of the course.  But the day after was sunny and warm (although of course it ended up raining later that day).

So, all's well that ends well, right?

Might do this one again.  I feel like I should give it another shot.  Might do the 5k next year though because I just want to run something shorter as I have a spring marathon planned in 2018.

After that, it just continued raining through the following Saturday.  Got in some various paced runs (one was a heart rate zone 2 attempt, one faster, one average pace).  Keeping my heart rate in zone 2 seemed to be occurring at a faster pace, which shows some improvement.  11:05-11:10 for zone 2 opposed to what it was a few months ago (had to run about a 12:00 pace for that hr zone).  Maybe something's happening there.

Don't really know anymore what my goals are.   Thinking I'll still work on improving speed and if something comes along where I have a chance to improve my half time, possibly I'll go for it.  I've considered just doing it on my own and not at an actual race to relieve anxiety. I do need to stop putting so much pressure on myself so this has been a good few weeks/month to relax and let things turn out as they do.

So much better when it's just running for how you feel

The last week or two I've kind of lost caring about keeping things a certain pace.  Ok, I take that back, I have incorporated 1 speedwork day a week where I try to keep below a 9 minute pace for at least 2 miles.  Other than that, the last few weeks I've been winging it to some extent.

A few days ago I didn't look at my watch, just ran by how I felt.  I felt like going a little faster that day, but was surprised when I looked at the pace and saw that my first mile was 9:49 followed by 9:06 and 9:03.  I would have guessed the whole thing was closer to 9:30-9:45 the whole time.  It was one of those effortless runs where I just let it go and didn't really care too much.  If only I could have that kind of attitude when it "matters".

Then again today was having some watch and pacing issues. Was planning on starting at 10:00 and then getting gradually faster.  It didn't really work out that way.  The day ended up a little bit warmer and it was the first day I wore a tank top and shorts (and needed sunscreen). Started out faster than planned.  Watch stopped twice on my run... the first iteration was just over a half mile, followed by 2 (watch restarted) runs that were around 5.5 miles each.  I ended up with 11.67 miles when I added up all three of these segments.  Looking back at my pace, I can see the slowing down reflected in the paces toward the middle miles.  I did speed up at the end with my final mile being 9:36 so in some ways I achieved my goal.  But actually the best part was that I really didn't care.

This was my final really "long" run before a half marathon that at this point I don't actually care about having a goal for completion time.  It needs to be a fun run because that's actually what I need at this time.  The fun part about today was it was a group run for my running group and there weren't many of us there but I ran into a lot of MIT people (Marathoner in Training) and was encouraged by that.  Also a friend of mine who pushed her two children in a stroller while managing a pace far faster than I could ever do.  She really amazes me.

During the middle of the run, there was a lake that I've always just run by but never around.  i looked at the marker which said it was 1.2 miles around.  I decided to go ahead and do it and worked it into my overall mileage.  Ended up really enjoying it and now I won't just skip by the lake the next time, I might do that again.

Still working on my goal... but maybe time to focus on different things

Ran a half marathon Saturday that I was hoping would be "the one" where I got the desired pace for an overall below 2 hour time.  I started out faster than I thought.  I should have taken that as a hint to slow down, but I didn't.  When I look at my Garmin tracking, the first three miles I average 8:57 but the first mile was 8:42.  This was not what I should have done at all.  In fact, it was the opposite.  But I couldn't stop myself.  Still trying to figure out why.

Midway through the race I was not able to continue that pace (big shocker).  I slowed down to a 9:20 for a good portion.  If I had been able to bounce back to 9:10 I could have had it.  But there were a number of factors that intervened around mile 6-7.  The first was my stomach started to feel weird and that persisted for a bit longer that I would have liked, causing me to panic a little and head down the path of negative thinking (which I'm sure didn't improve things).  The other was I still was struggling with breathing due to having a head cold from March 25th (noticed it during the 6 mile taper run) and really that whole week leading up to the race.  So I probably wasn't drinking enough water and taking mucinex and sudafed doesn't really help your body hydrate.  I kept seeing others go past me who I was comfortably in front of for the first 6 miles.  That's when you know it's just not going to happen. 

I guess this just wasn't my day.  I did somehow PR by 50 seconds when I compare my Pittsburgh time (which was close to 2:07 and this run which was a 2:06ish).  So even though I finished feeling let down, I had a minor PR of sorts.  Then we get into Garmin PR vs course PR.  Garmin PR of course looks at the actual point where you hit 13.1, even if you crossed the "official" finish line after that point.  Oddly, my best Garmin half was my first half back in 2015.  I had somehow evenly paced myself the entire race because I had no goal except finishing.  Interesting point there... When I have no goal and just run, somehow I do better.  I need to take this logic with me to my next half.  Maybe I can just get better on my own, by gradually running more halfs at a more consistent (but faster) pace.

I keep thinking back to the 15k a few weeks ago.  I keep thinking I should have just run another 4 miles that day, and maybe would have had the desired half time, even though it wasn't a "real"course half.  Because a 9:08 pace is pretty awesome and I kept that for 9.5 miles.  But just not when it counted as a real half.  Just a Garmin half.  But that's better than nothing, right... IDK

I keep thinking of that Tom Petty song with the lyrics "Some days are diamonds... some days are rocks... some doors are open... some roads are blocked"... The road was blocked for my goal on that particular day.  But maybe not on another day, if all conditions are right.  All conditions need to be right to get a diamond, correct?  Or maybe I'm just overthinking things (imagine that).

I had a wonderful moment during my half on Saturday.  One of my dear running friends told me she was going to meet me at mile 8 because it was an open running trail (no rules about not entering the course) and take me to the finish.  At first I protested because I don't want to be the center of attention or anyone make a special effort for me. She said she didn't care if I was quiet, she just wanted to be there for me.  I'm one of those who feels guilty if I'm not talking to my running buddy.  But she's pretty awesome and doesn't care about that.  She has the same goal as I do, and I feel she will achieve it because she's been working so hard.  That certainly made the race more bearable at the end and I'll never forget her caring enough to show up for me.  I think when you train for a marathon/half marathon with someone, that sticks with you.  I'll always have a special place in my heart for my training buddies. There are not many people that will show up at 6 am on a cold day to run 15-20 miles!

There are so many of us with this goal of a sub 2 half.  After this attempt, I'm making my next half not about a goal.  I think it's just too hard to have this always in the back of my mind.  At some points when I'm running that fast, I think "why"? But that doesn't mean I still don't want it (because I do). I'm still going to keep trying achieve this goal (hopefully before I turn 40 in just over 2 years).  I keep remembering "Nevertheless, she persisted."  But, in the meantime, I need to get back to the joy and camaraderie of running.  That's the whole reason I enjoy running in the first place.